Most professional writers of magazine articles and short stories believe that you will lose a reader if their interest is not gained in the first 100 words. I contend that the first 25 to 50 words are critical to the text of an effective brochure. The opening sentence in the attached example is a slow start - passive voice and awkward. Consider the following revised version:
Manufacturers rely on Venus-Gusmer to provide the best meter/mix pumping system available for processing high-ratio thermosetting materials. Venus-Gusmerís H.I.S. technology is ideally suited for MEKP and certain BPO catalyst systems. Venus-Gusmer continues to develop and test advanced equipment that meets the demands of new materials like epoxies, phenolics, vinyl esters, polyurethane and hybrid polyester/polyurethane. Venus-Gusmer also helps processors find new uses for existing materials. Venus-Gusmer supplies you with high-quality equipment, training and service. We are proud to be part of the industry's past since 1966 and pioneer of the industry's future.
Vital statistics: Brochure Revised
Version Version
Number of sentences 3 6
Sentence lengths #1 25 20
#2 38 14
#3 28 26
#4 -- 11
#5 -- 11
#6 -- 18

Total words 91 100
Average sentence length 30.3 words 16.7 words
return to Duck Brochure button to Duck Brochure Tour.
Resume Web Site:Duck Brochure Design/Text Edit
Send mail to:
Richard L. Gilmore, rlg@4dreality.com
about the online resume.
last modified: Thursday, August 26, 2004