Factory Components List
Editorial Comments |
"Allows" is weak. It indicates that something might happen.
"Ensures" say that this event will happen. I use the appositive "accurate" to give stronger support for "repeatable shots." |
Removing "can" strengthens the statement by shortening the sentence and taking away any hint that the equipment might not do the job. |
I wonder why the sizes were arranged in any order other than small to large? |
These products sell in Southern California - not usually considered a cold climate.
I didn't want those customers dismissing this option out of hand.
There is also a question of liability. Brochures have figured prominently in product liability cases and should be considered part of the instruction document set. In this example, a manufacturer in a typically warm climate could sue for product damage if part of their production season occurred when makeup heating was required. The term "cold climate" could be cited in a trial. |
"When" and "to" are more superfluous words (and I just love using the word 'superfluous'). |